January 2008 Archives

January 14^th is an auspicious day on the Vedic calendar since it marks the solar transition to Sidereal Capricorn. Although the sun enters Tropical Capricorn on the winter solstice, this is not actually aligned with the constellation of Capricorn, due to a phenomenon known as the Procession of the Equinoxes, which relates to the sun’s twenty four thousand year journey around galactic centre. For the Vedic calendar, it is the sun’s entry into Makara, or Sidereal Capricorn, which marks the beginning of the sun’s northern journey, the path of light. On this auspicious day, vows and initiations will be especially effective. Hence ‘Makara Sankranti’ or January 14^th is the traditional initiation day at Alandi Ashram.

I have performed initiations for students and devotees every Makara Sankranti for many years, never imagining that one day I would carry out a self-initiation on that date. Preparations for this event arose spontaneously in my psyche and were carried out meticulously yet effortlessly. So I came down the stairs to the temple at dawn dressed in a brand new pure white $10 sari created from a bolt of muslin at the fabric shop.

 I could not help but recall the occasion twenty eighty years previously when I made brahmachari vows on the banks of the Kaveri River with Bede Griffiths. It was 4^th April 1980 and I met Sadananda for the first time later that day. Almost twenty years later, here I was again making vows.

Sadananda, Matrupriya, Alandi Board president Jane Bunin, Hilary Moshman, Alandi Mandali musician Seva, Ashram administrator Rivkah and her son Toviah, as well as Amanda, a friend from Omaha, were present to witness the vows. After sunrise agnihotra we did a homa fire ceremony, offering 108 Healing Mantras and then making offerings to all the gurus in the Alandi lineage. At the end of the fire ceremony I read my vows in the presence of the assembled witnesses and of the lineage gurus –invoked through fire— and Agni, Fire himself. As we always do in our initiation ceremonies, I walked three times around the fire to confirm the vows.

Then I received an ochre shawl and a tulsi mala from Raghudas’ Seat, as tokens and reminders of eth vows taken.

My new life had begun.

Soon I realized that the ochre shawl is a constant reminder of the fires of Shiva that burn away all secondary things leaving only the One. I am never alone because I am clothed in that Fire.  And I saw too that the true brahmacharya is to abstain completely from identification with the limited self.

“In my end is my beginning” as Heraclitus said. At this time in life I experience both a death and a birth. My married woman self is undergoing a death experience as the new self comes to birth.

The anguish of the death experience is the birth pangs of a new level of being, one on which I belong more completely than ever to my children, all sentient beings.   May this broken heart be a fountain of healing for all suffering beings!

On 30^th December I set off on a road trip with two of my closest friends and one-time ashram residents—our pancha karma faculty, Ameya (Satya Duprey), and former board member Hilary Moshman. Ameya was accompanied by her partner, who had been newly christened Nagesh in the Amethyst Heart ceremony. On the way out of Boulder we chanced to meet Alandi Ashram’s board secretary, Jeph Cowan, along with his wife Linda. They enquired where I was going and why. “Is it a vacation?”  I knew it was not really a vacation, but it wasn’t until we were heading down Highway 285 that I realized the guru’s purpose for the trip. “This,” I announced, “is my pre-vows pilgrimage. I am going to gather blessings.”

Pilgrimage always involves hardship and an arduous journey and this one was no exception. As we crossed Kenosha Pass at an elevation of 10,000 feet and dropped into South Park, we met high winds, blowing snow, fog and icy roads. At times visibility was almost non-existent. Suddenly, we encountered a car which had come to a dead stop in a white-out. Swerving to avoid the stationary vehicle, we skidded and veered off the road. “At first it was hard to get control of the car,” Ameya said. “But when Hilary started saying om namah shivayah and you started chanting ram, ram, ram, everything flowed effortlessly.” Safely back on the road, and fortified by vegan marshmallows, we continued to negotiate fog and blowing snow all the way to Fairplay.

By the time we had crossed Poncha Pass and entered the San Luis Valley, late afternoon sun was touching the snow-clad peaks of the Sangre de Christo Mountains and the valley brush glowed golden in the falling light. Turning off the highway, we headed to Baca Grande, until we saw the dome of the Divine Mother Temple. At Haidakhandi Universal Ashram we were welcomed by ashram mother Ramloti. It was twenty years since my first visit to HUA during the Harmonic Convergence and now here I was, gathering blessings for sannyas. We passed a peaceful night and morning meditating in the temple and singing kirtan, as I sought Divine Mother’s blessings for my new life.

After lunch prasadam, we continued up the road to where the white stupa of Karmapa shone out above the snowy valley. Circumambulating the stupa with chants of karmapa chenno, I begged for the blessings of Karmapa and of the Karma Kargu lineage of Tibetan Buddhism to support me in monastic vows.

We continued on our way, through Alamosa and Antonito, across the Rio Grande Gorge and into Taos. It was also twenty years since my first visit to Neem Karoli Baba Ashram and Hanuman Temple—and my first visit as a single person and aspiring sannyasini, a fact that evoked some sobs as I laid my head on Maharaji’s tucket. Here, we saw the New Year in with chants to Hanuman. There was time for my favourite activities, early morning meditation in the auxiliary shrine room, known as ‘Maharaji’s office’ and Sanskrit chanting with Hilary, my long-time chant partner. This time Hilary supported my new-found interest in Lalita Sahasranama, a powerful chant to Divine Mother.  We also braved the ferocious loose dogs of Taos to walk to the Rio Pueblo and enjoy views of Taos Mountain. 

Blessed by Divine Mother, Karmapa, Maharaji, Hanumanji, Taos Mountain and the Rio Pueblo, I was fortified in seeing all things in the Self and the Self in all things. I saw that the unconditional steadfast love I have for Sadananda is a manifestation of God’s love for humanity and that I do indeed cherish this same divine love for everyone in my Family—all living beings. 

    Typically, after making a pilgrimage, the aspirant will receive a spiritual dream which confirms that the pilgrimage has been accepted. Instead, today I experienced a bizarre waking dream. As I walked along Alpine towards the bakery, a woman called me into her house to ‘help’ her pick up an eighty-eight year old man who had fallen and was unable to get up. However, I was expected to do the whole job myself as the woman was afraid of hurting her back. Now as many readers know, I am only five feet tall. I don’t think that it is physically possible for a five foot tall, far from athletic woman to pick up a five foot ten inch, hundred and forty pound man. However, I prayed for supernatural strength and helped him up and into his chair. The message was clear. “Your pilgrimage has been accepted and you are here to uplift the fallen.”