One of the names of Divine Mother in Lalita Sahasranama is “om nirvikaryai namaha: salutations to Her who is the unchanging basis of all change.” It appears that at this time in life I am being called upon to actualise this aspect of Ma’s potency.
The more profound the inner stillness in which I reside, the more rapidly seem to fly the changes all around. In terms of the major life changes, the features of this transition are ever shifting and changing in themselves. And change is in the air at the ashram too. Yesterday alone, a resident who was due to move in on the first of this month suddenly decided not to move in after all…a resident who was slated to move out decided he couldn’t bear to leave… and the ever supportive Rivkah, ashram manager and personal assistant to Ma, handed in her resignation in order to focus on her massage practice. The illusion of permanence has, it seems, no breathing space here at Alandi Ashram.
Last week in Ayurvedic Fundamentals class we were studying Shad Darshan (Philosopy). As I read from the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali to the students, I came to sutra 16 in the first chapter. “Supreme freedom is that complete liberation from the world of change which comes from knowing the unbounded Self.” Words read before, intellectually known before, pondered before suddenly took the form of a thunderbolt launching from the page and striking me in the heart. “O my God,” I gasped, “this is it! This is the truth! I am actually going through this right now…but I didn’t have the words.”
Indeed, this is the true, absolute brahmacharya, this is the genuine sannyas, to renounce the world of change effortlessly and spontaneously, through knowing the unbounded One without a second. I feel and know the human woman within my being and give voice to her feelings, concerns and vulnerabilities, yet she is no longer I, because the focus of being has shifted to paramatman, the Supreme Self. And, yes, it is bewildering at times to be on the journey to changeless being, because from one perspective this can appear to be a massive change. I am no longer the one I thought I was. om nirvikaryai namaha!